If you don’t ask, the answer’s always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.

When I was battling against my shyness, I set a goal to approach attractive women in the street. I knew that if I did it several dozen times, I would most likely overcome my social fears and transform into a new person.

What helped me act (in spite of immense anxiety) was the realization that talking myself out of approaching a woman would certainly equate to a “no.” Approaching her and getting rejected couldn’t worsen my situation. In fact, I could only gain, because even a rejection was still a valuable lesson I wouldn’t learn if I chose inaction.

Likewise, many people hesitate to start working on their goals out of a fear of failure or self-doubt. They fail to realize that if they don’t take a step forward, they’ll be in the same place. Even if they take an unsuccessful step forward and need to backtrack, they’d still gain some experience. There’s nothing to lose, and potentially a lot to gain.

Are there any goals you’d like to pursue, but are afraid that you’ll embarrass yourself or fail? Have you ever considered that not acting on them leads to sure-fire failure, while an attempt gives you at least a small chance of success and a 100% chance of learning something new?

To have striven, to have made the effort, to have been true to certain ideals — this alone is worth the struggle.

We fantasize about the day we receive a trophy, cash out, step on the scales and see the perfect weight, travel to this beautiful place, step into this new spacious house, or marry that beautiful girl or guy.

The focus is on the success, not the struggle. And it’s understandable — success is glamorous, memorable, and marketable, while the struggle is drab, disagreeable, and unattractive for the general public.

Yet, it’s making the effort, struggling, and sticking to your resolutions that shapes you as a person. Success is a reward for having given it your best, but it’s not always within your control whether and when you get to enjoy it.

Whenever you find yourself discouraged by your lack of success, remind yourself that the process alone is your reward. It’s in your hands whether you allow yourself to see the rewards the struggle generates or ignore them, mindlessly pursuing the end result as the sole indicator of success.

I failed numerous times in business. I could have despaired that I had lost so much time and money, but I hadn’t really failed. I had been true to my values of pursuing the entrepreneurial life. I kept going, despite the obstacles I constantly encountered along the way. Over and over again, I beat entrepreneurial depression and found it in myself yet again to get back up and try again.

Eventually my efforts paid off, but even if it had taken longer to get the results — or if I had died before reaching them — the struggle would still have been worth it for the immense changes I underwent on the journey to pursue my dreams.