The bearing of a child takes nine months, no matter how many women are assigned.

Fred Brook

Patience and self-discipline are close cousins. If you want to reject instant gratification for the sake of accomplishing your long-term goals, it might take months or years before you receive your big compensation. Without patience, you’ll get nowhere.
While sometimes you can force results to come more quickly — by pushing yourself harder and being as diligent as you can during the process— oftentimes things take time and there’s no way to rush them, no matter how many resources you apply.
Like pregnancy, some things follow a natural schedule you can’t control. If you fail to identify which things cannot be rushed, you might misapply the power of self-discipline and instead of achieving them more quickly, fail to achieve them at all.
For example, a body has a natural limit of how much body fat it can burn during a week without breaking down your muscle. If you try to rush the process by starving yourself, the most likely end result is an unplanned cheat week that will not only take you back to square one, but most likely add some additional body fat to your frame .
Even with things that are difficult to measure, such as learning to control your mind so that you can eventually radiate optimism, you can’t force yourself to change overnight. Rewiring your brain takes time, and it doesn’t matter how much time you spend meditating or reading books about emotional control; a process that is so profound takes time.
Generally speaking, if it has taken you years or decades to develop a negative trait, don’t expect that you can reverse it within weeks or months. Approach such undertakings with the belief that you’ll do your best, but that you won’t get discouraged or frustrated if the process is slow. It would be as futile as a woman complaining that pregnancy lasts nine months.

Virtue is not a mushroom, that springeth up of itself in one night when we are asleep, or regard it not; but a delicate plant, that groweth slowly and tenderly, needing much pains to cultivate it, much care to guard it, much time to mature it, in our untoward soil, in this world’s unkindly weather.

Isaac Barrow

If self-discipline were like a mushroom that springs up of itself without the need for a gardener, everybody would possess it. Unfortunately — or fortunately, depending on how you look at it — it’s more like a plant that you need to constantly cultivate, or else it withers.

Some people believe that one either possesses a “green thumb” or not — as if one person were born with an inborn talent to care for plants and another not.

In reality, the person with the supposed green thumb is simply more attentive to their plants. They make sure their plants have everything they need to thrive and regularly check up on them to make sure they stay healthy.

Think of self-discipline in the same way. You plant its seeds the moment you decide it’s time to stop coasting through life and prioritize long-term rewards over instant gratification. However, this moment is just the very beginning; as in the case of planting the seed for a new flowering plant, there’s a lot of time and energy you’ll still need to invest to make it bloom. If you want to have a beautiful plant, you can’t water it occasionally or move it from one place to another every other week.

Ask yourself: what kind of a gardener am I for my own self-discipline? If your self-control were a plant, how would it look based on how you’ve been cultivating it the past years?

To be “normal” is the ideal aim for the unsuccessful, for all those who are still below the general level of adaptation. But for people of more than average ability, people who never found it difficult to gain successes and to accomplish their share of the world’s work — for them the moral compulsion to be nothing but normal signifies the bed of Procrustes — deadly and insupportable boredom, a hell of sterility and hopelessness.

Carl Jung

There’s nothing “normal” in building self-discipline. Most people avoid all kinds of discomfort and effort. They don’t want to experience personal growth because it interferes with them stuffing themselves with French fries, wasting countless hours in front of TV, spending money they don’t have on things they don’t need, lollygagging at work, and cutting corners whenever they can.

If you want to join the minority of people who do possess self-control and strive to strengthen it even further, you’ll be considered weird. This means that you need to prepare yourself for potential ridicule, being frowned upon, and not being understood.

It might be hard at first to face so much adversity when all you want to do is to improve yourself. To overcome this situation, get the following fact at the forefront of your mind: “normal” is the ideal for the mediocre, “exceptional” (or, in the words of the unsuccessful, “weird”) is the ideal for the high-achievers and trailblazers.

Every time you feel out of sync with the rest of the world, remember that there are other people like you. During the challenging times, when’re you’re stumbling, remind yourself that even when you’re failing, you’re still forging your own path, something that the vast majority of people will never do. You can enjoy the fruits of your success in a way that they will never experience, and that’s why it’s worth it to be exceptional. Be exceptional.

We should discipline ourselves in small things, and from there progress to things of greater value. If you have a headache, practise not cursing. Don’t curse every time you have an earache. And I’m not saying that you can’t complain, only don’t complain with your whole being.

Epictetus

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and you won’t build self-discipline overnight. If you’ve never been particularly disciplined, start small with easy challenges and then build on top of them.

Epictetus suggests a simple exercise of not complaining when you feel unwell. To make the first step even easier, he says that you don’t even have to immediately stop complaining at all — just stop complaining “with your whole being.”

Could you do it just for today? Once you successfully go one day without complaining with your whole being, how about two days? Three days? A week? A month? Could you then add other little challenges and consistently strengthen your willpower?

Other simple practices you can implement to begin building more self- discipline include:
Resisting the temptation to yell in anger when another driver does something that irks you.
Eating just slightly less than you’d like to eat, like one square of a chocolate or one potato chip less.
Working for just one minute longer when you’re ready to call it a day.
Work on several such little challenges and soon you’ll gain more self- control and be able to progress to bigger changes.