With every accident, ask yourself what abilities you have for making a proper use of it. If you see an attractive person, you will find that self-restraint is the ability you have against your desire. If you are in pain, you will find fortitude. If you hear unpleasant language, you will find patience.

For every problem you face, there’s an ability or resource you can tap into to overcome it. The key is to discover what it is and immediately put it to use. Unfortunately, many people default to discouragement or frustration rather than adopt a resourceful attitude and look for possible solutions.

Little good comes out of covering your eyes, wishing the problem will go away on its own. The best way to prepare yourself for setbacks is to visualize them and seek solutions before these problems materialize. Not all of your negative predictions will come to pass, but the ones that do won’t paralyze you as much if you prepare yourself for them.

For example, if you’re on a diet, think of some common scenarios that might jeopardize your adherence to it. What will you do if somebody you always wanted to meet invites you to dinner at a less than healthy restaurant? What will you do if you find yourself starving at the airport while waiting for the connecting flight? What will you do when you fail to resist the temptation to eat chocolate and turn an unplanned treat into a full-blown cheat day?

By creating a list of potential solutions while being at the top of your game and not being influenced by negative emotions, you’ll save yourself the time and energy that is wasted on trying to solve problems with a clouded mind.

You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage — pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically — to say “no” to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger “yes” burning inside.

Stephen Covey

Without the bigger “yes” burning inside of you, there’s no way you’ll continue making the uncomfortable choices over the long term for the sake of your goal.

The primary reason why I stuck to entrepreneurship, despite countless failures, was my intention to help my parents build a house in the countryside. It was their dream, and by extension, my dream.

This big “yes” had been burning inside me no matter what was happening with my business. Even after another big defeat, I still knew that I would never “lay down my arms” in the fight to become able to give them their dream. If you have such a strong “yes” inside you, you’ll also refuse to surrender the fight to achieve your dream.

Your burning “yes” will also help you pinpoint your priorities and disregard distractions. For example, if you decided to save money for the future education of your child, saying “no” to spending money on things you’d like to have (but don’t need) would be much easier than without such a powerful motivator. You would be focused on the long-view of where you wanted to be when your child was older .

If your biggest dream in life is to become a surgeon, you won’t feel apprehensive about declining an invitation for a party because you want to prepare yourself for an important exam. The “yes” burning inside you would be stronger than the fear of missing out on a few hours spent drinking with your friends.

Granted, as we’ve already discussed, there should be some balance in everything, but generally speaking, you’ll do well if you can discover a burningb reason why you want to accomplish a given dream and unapologetically say no to anything that might threaten your chances of making it come true.