Remember too on every occasion which leads thee to vexation to apply this principle: not that this is a misfortune, but that to bear it nobly is good fortune.

Hardships are a part of life and while nobody (with the exception of masochists) enjoys pain, they can be valuable because they present an opportunity for personal growth.

I like to say that you discover how deep your self-discipline goes when you struggle, and not when everything goes well.

You aren’t self-disciplined because you worked hard when you were fired up to work. You’re self-disciplined when you continue to work hard when the last thing you want to do is work.

You aren’t self-disciplined because you can’t afford candy, so you don’t eat it. You exhibit self-control when you deny the treats that are offered freely to you, for example when you’re at a party with a buffet selection of high-calorie snacks.

You aren’t self-disciplined when you wake up early in the morning to work on your new business. You’re self-disciplined when you still wake up early in the morning when it seems that your business is going nowhere.

Misfortunes aren’t fun to deal with, but bearing them nobly strengthens your ability to handle even worse circumstances in the future. In a sense, trials and tribulations are like training. You may not enjoy it, but you know that eventually it will pay off and more than recoup for any suffering you’re going through at the moment.

We always overestimate the change that will occur in the next two years and underestimate the change that will occur in the next ten. Don’t let yourself be lulled into inaction.

Bill Gates’ quote refers to the evolution of personal computing, but the world of self-discipline isn’t any different.

A staggering number of people give up on their goals just weeks or months into them, discouraged that they still haven’t reached their goals or that their results are lackluster.

Sorry to have to break it to you, but the world doesn’t work that way. With few exceptions, nobody can build a successful business in six months, achieve a perfect physique in three months, learn a new language in four weeks, or become a self-disciplined person overnight.

However, the sky is the limit for those who are in it for the long haul. Ten years of dedicated practice can turn anyone into a world-class expert. When you gain momentum, you’ll get exponential results. The trick is to stick to your goals long enough for the velocity to accrue.

For example, in the first year you might only get your business off the ground, but in its third or fourth year it can explode virtually overnight. What actually happens is not an overnight success, but a process that took place over several years, during which it built upon itself in an exponential way.

When you look at my catalog of books, you might be tempted to say that I succeeded right away. “Martin’s first book became a bestseller, so it’s possible to become a bestselling author in a few months.”

That would be a great example of overestimating what you can achieve in a short period of time. My first book wasn’t actually my first book. I’d been writing — articles, blog posts, books, etc. — for a long time before I started writing about self-discipline. It was a process of well over ten years that resulted in my becoming a bestselling author.

Whenever setting a new goal, take the long-term approach. Unlike the person who assumes that their world can change overnight, be in it for the long haul, and the short-term fluctuations won’t make you give up.

You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage — pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically — to say “no” to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger “yes” burning inside.

Stephen Covey

Without the bigger “yes” burning inside of you, there’s no way you’ll continue making the uncomfortable choices over the long term for the sake of your goal.

The primary reason why I stuck to entrepreneurship, despite countless failures, was my intention to help my parents build a house in the countryside. It was their dream, and by extension, my dream.

This big “yes” had been burning inside me no matter what was happening with my business. Even after another big defeat, I still knew that I would never “lay down my arms” in the fight to become able to give them their dream. If you have such a strong “yes” inside you, you’ll also refuse to surrender the fight to achieve your dream.

Your burning “yes” will also help you pinpoint your priorities and disregard distractions. For example, if you decided to save money for the future education of your child, saying “no” to spending money on things you’d like to have (but don’t need) would be much easier than without such a powerful motivator. You would be focused on the long-view of where you wanted to be when your child was older .

If your biggest dream in life is to become a surgeon, you won’t feel apprehensive about declining an invitation for a party because you want to prepare yourself for an important exam. The “yes” burning inside you would be stronger than the fear of missing out on a few hours spent drinking with your friends.

Granted, as we’ve already discussed, there should be some balance in everything, but generally speaking, you’ll do well if you can discover a burningb reason why you want to accomplish a given dream and unapologetically say no to anything that might threaten your chances of making it come true.

When I meet someone, I consider how normal their life is. I do this not because it’s a one hundred percent accurate heuristic on how much I’ll respect someone, but because it’s damn close. If you have a totally normal life, then there are only two possibilities: you’ve thought through every aspect of your life and miraculously agree with society on each one, or you don’t think at all. I try not to associate with people who don’t think.

Self-discipline is hard to attain, and because it’s not common, sooner or later somebody will deem your behaviors abnormal.

I maintain a healthy weight and physique, but I still fast for 16 to 20 hours daily, and abstain from food for 36 hours or more every several weeks.

My relationship with food is often criticized by other people. If I don’t stuff my face with food every three hours, then surely I’ve developed an eating disorder. The norm is to eat often, and if your behavior differs from it, you’re weird. However, I do what I consider to be best for me, and I refuse to follow different eating habits merely because it’s the most common way of doing things.

It’s difficult to trust your own judgment when everybody around you is doing something different, but if everything you do is in accordance with society’s norms, then what you’re going to get is the same results as everybody else does who follows those norms.

So what if others think it’s weird that you’d rather save money instead of buying a new car every two years? You’re the one who has less financial stress, even if it costs you a little to reject the temptation to spend money unnecessarily.

So what if you’re not partying every weekend like everybody else and instead work hard to grow your business? You’re the one who will eventually enjoy wealth, while those others will complain about their finances for the rest of their lives.

So what if people consider you weird because you go to sleep at nine and wake up at five in the morning, while they stay up until two in the morning watching TV shows? It’s you who’s going to get more done by ten in the morning than they’ll accomplish in the entire week!

Trust your own judgment and think for yourself. It’s better to suffer from your own choices than waste your life away because you were mindlessly following the herd.